Apology and Explanation
When I posted some things on this site a few weeks ago about the breakup of my engagement, I had no idea the fuss it would cause. It has caused a lot of people a lot of stress, and I must apologize to everyone for that.
I posted the item about the breakup of my engagement with the intent that I wanted to write it as honestly as I could, whilst maintaining the privacy of others. Given that I am in the middle of this, I have no doubt that other people have different views on what actually happened with the breakup of the relationship.
It is apparent that I included too much information in the entry, and I apologize to my ex-fiancé for that. Whilst I tried to respect her privacy, I did not do a good enough job at it. Sorry.
A couple of weeks ago I made a post in this Blog. It is a statement that I feel accurately and eloquently describes committed relationships…
“I really hate it when a relationship ends. The only way that a relationship will work is when both parties commit to the relationship with all their heart and soul. This means that when the relationship ends both parties are really unhappy.”
This was a statement that I made in general about relationships and the natural reaction of those involved when things break down. When I started writing that entry I had intended to add more about how I was feeling. But having written that paragraph I just felt drained. So I did not write any more. I felt that the statement was self-contained so I published it as a complete entry.
There is little that I am more certain of than that we were both totally committed to the relationship. We would never have gotten close to getting engaged without that level of commitment. If anyone took this statement to mean anything other than that then I am sorry. It was certainly not meant to convey anything other than being an observation on life, as well as noting that I was feeling horrible. Nothing more was meant by this.
Throughout this process of recovering from the breakdown of the relationship I thought that other people would be interested in knowing what my thoughts and feelings were. A breakdown of a relationship is a highly stressful event in anyone’s life. I know that I have a lot of people out there who care for me, so I have tried to keep them up to date with how things are going with me.
How I am coping personally with life is highly personal. I have decided to share that part of my life with people where so that people who care about me know how I am coping with the grief of the breakup of a relationship.
Song Writers are famous for publishing their thoughts, feelings and experienced in songs. Just have a look at the words used by almost any artist, from Dido & Evanescence to Bob Dylan & Jewel. And just as these song writers write songs from their personal experience, I write a Blog.
Visiting New Zealand to get away from everything was an important part of my coping and healing strategy. Going away allowed me to divert my thoughts in a productive matter. Writing my thoughts and feelings here as well as in my private diary have also been very good to me.
Words are very important to me. I use them to express who I am. Some people tell me I write very eloquently. Others tell me that I write very ‘exactly’. I cannot tell if either of these statements are correct. What I can say is that my words are truly my own.